What are you thinking?

I need to study. I don't want to study. But I need to.

I think I'll watch desperate housewives on netflix instead.

I'm jealous of people with nice, thick eyebrows that aren't way the hell above their eyes. My face is so freakish. :/

I guess this belongs in the feels feels board.

Well, now I can say that I've fallen down stairs. So that's fun.

We have a new member.

Also it's 3:30 AM and after the melatonin I took an hour ago, I'm finally getting drowsy. Yay

What is this white film on my organic apples? Is it bad that i'm eating it? and I think i'm getting better at compartmentalizing my life. Also being composed and being friendly aren't opposites, it just requires being a little less serious and seeing the transparency of things...

I like not working. and it kinda scares me.

Haleyhayhay wrote:I'm jealous of people with nice, thick eyebrows

Ugh, I know this feel. I color mine in to look thicker because I look awful otherwise.

Heavily-lidded eyes + un-dense eyebrows = ghoulface. Maybe that's just me, though.

I think I'm a little depressed. A little.

I can't wait until Friday is over so I can go home, have a sob fest, light some candles and lay in bed and read books all weekend. because fuck everything else.

I'm beginning to enjoy being a loner. The more I'm around people the more I realize I don't want to be around people.

HELLO? HELLO? HELLO? HELLO?

Yeah, this place is kind of dead lately.

It makes me sad

We should just post all the time.

Yes!

My thought: I'm so tired. It's my first weekend working two jobs and already I'm thinking it's an awful idea haha. I got 4 hours sleep on Friday night and 5 last night. Tomorrow, I'm not waking up for anything

I'm thinking about how I'd really like to go out on nature trails today and walk by myself, maybe find a place to sit and meditate. But I also have to buy softener salt and ten gallons of water. Town is the exact opposite direction of the trails and that's really a lot of gas to waste. Hmmm.

I need to get my life on track. And write more. Just stop spending all my time watching stuff online!

Met a guy at the lake on Father's day and we went out and had been seeing each other almost every day after that. For like the first two weeks he was around all the time and I couldn't really get time to myself then all of a sudden...it stopped. He was tired from work, had other plans or just plain didn't show up after that. Now I see him for a few hours once a week on the weekends and we have sex and he goes home. Not too complicated or anything. It's kinda nice.

I'd like to see him more, but I'm afraid I'd get tired of him too soon and I somewhat like him. Maybe I should take the chance? I don't know, but that's what I'm thinking. My dating decisions really suck.

The last couple hours I've been thinking maybe my cats really are the only ones who can stand my personality 24/7. Maybe I'm just mostly drunk. But...what if...I was a big queen cat in a former life and this is the cause of it all. Just something I've been pondering.

I don't think drinking this much was a good idea. :/

I am trapped in a pleather corset and I'm just about to panic. The zipper won't budge and I wanted to try selling this thing. I might have to destroy it. And it was like forty dollars. DGRERRRRWADFFRRRRRRFGRRRR

*vinyl, lol. I'm way far less biker chick than I am industrial. And I'm no where near industrial. Less than occasionally.

It's sad that the ncc barely exists anymore. I guess it's good in a way, it means that people have real lives that they're adjusted to and happy with or if they're miserable, they have coping methods of adults and they don't feel the need to use internet land to satisfy their loneliness. Internet land maybe but not the ncc specifically.

Today I'm cleaning for my grandpa. He had a stroke last year and he's lived alone since his second wife divorced him about ten years ago. I didn't know him as his past selves, so I can't testify to whether he was a decent human being back then. Rumor has it he was a shitty dad and husband way way back. But now he's an old man who can barely walk. He gets money from the government somehow or other, and with that I'm getting twenty dollars an hour, to clean three hours, twice a month. It's weird that you would get paid by the government to help out family but then, not too weird to the family members who know him better. I'm a little bit nervous because people in general make me nervous and not being close with my grandpa, it could be more awkward than necessary. I thought of bringing him a newspaper or magazine or something but I'm really low on funds at the moment. I'll just bring him a candy. Apparently all the supplies my mom is bringing, paid for by his disability money or what not. Shouldn't be too bad. Just start with dusting, then mirrors. Counter tops. Laundry. Vacuuming the upstairs. Changing out his bedding. Vacuuming the living room area. Wiping the fridge, cleaning the sink, sweeping the kitchen floor, mopping the kitchen floor. Cleaning the toilet, the shower, the bathroom sink. Sweeping and mopping the floor. And vacuuming the little floor in his bedroom area. Alright, routine set up in my head already.

I. need. SEX. That or to get baked off my ass. I don't know where to find weeds though.

I was seeing this guy for a while. He turned out to be a douche, but he was really good in the sack. And now I can't stop thinking about him, which is annoying. The lack of good sex in my life before this has made me cling on quite a bit.

What's the point?